Drinking and Driving with Gil and Friends

Just to warn you, this is kind of a long story.....but I think it gives a perfect example of how my life operates here....

My roommates’ jazz bar was having what was supposed to be a really awesome afro-jazz band play on Thursday night, so I made plans to go with my roommate, my friend Gil (the same Gil that I went to the beach with), and whoever he might happen to bring along (again, when I make plans with people that I don’t know very well, I never know what to expect). As it turned out, my roommate decided to meet up with some other friends before heading to the bar, so I was left at the mercy of Gil and company for the night...

Gil and his friend Sousa came to pick me up in the same white car they had picked me up in for our trip to the beach, with music still blaring. They got to my place early – which in and of itself should have tipped me off that something was not quite right with the universe – so we went out and about in the city to pass the time before heading to the jazz bar.

Our first stop was just outside of the city at a little outdoor bar by the side of the road where we went to pick up Gil’s uncle (who I will refer to as “Tio”), who was there drinking with some friends. We also took advantage of the opportunity to stock up on beers, which we proceeded to drink in the car throughout the rest of our night together (as far as I know drinking in the car is not illegal).

Note: When we stopped at said bar to pick up Tio, I got to experience first-hand Sousa’s amazingly resourceful driving (he actually works as a driver for Doctors Without Borders). The bar was along a really big road (highway-ish), and we accidentally passed it up on our way there. I quickly assessed the situation and did not see any easy way of getting back to the bar...it didn’t seem like the type of road you could do a u-turn on, nor did there seem to be any logical off-ramp, on-ramp system....but I should have known that Sousa had it covered. He simply pulled over, drove up onto the wide dirt sidewalk, put the car in reverse, and skillfully maneuvered his way back to the bar – avoiding people, light-posts, trees and other random objects along the way. The oncoming traffic zipping by just a few feet away didn’t seem to bother him at all. He parked right next to the bar, and we went inside to get Tio and beers. And this continued to be a theme throughout the night...everywhere we went we simply (or sometimes not so simply) parked on the sidewalk...even if there was space to park along the street!

Back to the story. Once we had Tio and a rather large quantity of beers in the car, we headed back towards the city. I was assuming we’d head for the jazz bar, where it was about time for the music to get started, but I should have known better! Next stop turned out to be Gil’s apartment. Correction, the street outside of Gil’s apartment building. We pulled over, Tio got out of the car, and we just hung out there, drinking our beers, while he chatted with someone by the side of the road. This was the first in a serious of stops that made absolutely no sense to me.

Next stop, Mozambique’s version of a fast food restaurant....a place where you could order things like chicken and chips, and buy beer and sodas. Now, when we first pulled up (onto the sidewalk) I thought Gil said something to me about eating chicken....but when Sousa and Tio came out of the restaurant they had only a box full of beers with them. Apparently it was time to replenish the stock.

Then we all get back in the car, and I hear Tio saying something about pizza. Now, Tio talks really fast, doesn’t enunciate, and he was in the front seat facing away from me so I was having a hard time actually hearing what he was saying. But he definitely said something about having pizza for dinner. I had already eaten, but let’s be honest....3 or 4 beers later that veggie stir-fry just wasn’t quite cutting it. Was I okay with making another quick stop? Sure!

New York Pizza. There is actually a restaurant in Maputo called New York Pizza. And, horrible person that I am, I have never been there. Luckily, this turned out to be our next stop. Again, Sousa and Tio disappeared inside (presumably ordering pizza), while Gil and I hung out by the car (parked on the sidewalk in front of NY Pizza, doors ajar, music blaring). A few minutes later, Sousa and Tio emerged from NY Pizza empty handed and we all got back in the car and started driving away. Without pizza. I’ll admit, I cried a little bit on the inside.

Next stop...Museu. A big chapa stop up the street from where I live, that also boasts several street-side bars and “bottle shops” (little stands by the side of the road from which people sell every form of alcohol that exists in Mozambique). When we pulled over we were immediately surrounded by people trying to sell us booze. We pulled over, parked the car (this might have been the only time we actually parked on the street as opposed to the sidewalk....not because the sidewalk here isn’t wide, but because it’s taken up by the “bottle shops”), and there goes Tio. I can see he’s negotiating with bottle store owners...and several minutes later he passes a plastic bag full of beers into the car. Then a 5-liter box of wine appears. And then a bottle of Johnnie Walker. I must have looked surprised by the quantity of alcohol being purchased, because Sousa quickly assured me that we weren’t going to drink all of that....the wine and Walker were for Tio to take home.

We hung out for a while...the hood of the car turned into a table while we provided music for everyone drinking on the street....until eventually someone announced that the pizzas must be ready by now. Ah.....so that’s what we had been doing...passing the time until the pizzas were ready. Mmmmm....pizza.

Back to NY pizza we go. Tio goes in, and emerges with two large and one miniature pizza box in hand (if we’d been in the states I might have guessed that the miniature box held breadsticks....but I had no idea what to expect!). And I am happy. He puts them in the car, and off we go.

We are now driving in the direction of the jazz bar....so I assume we are taking our pizzas there to eat. What I didn’t know is that we were also driving in the direction of Tio’s house. Once again, we randomly pull over, drive up onto the sidewalk, and there goes Tio. He gets out of the car and proceeds to hand some guy on the street the two large pizza boxes, 5 liters of wine and bottle of Walker. Apparently he had arranged to meet this guy outside his building, who was now delivering dinner to his family upstairs. Needless to say, I was severely disappointed to see those pizza boxes being handed over to some random man on the street.

With dinner now delivered, Tio got back into the car, and off we went. Back to Gil’s apartment. Or rather, back to the street outside Gil’s apartment. This time it actually made a tiny bit of sense because we stopped to get gas from the station on the corner. To my utter delight, the little box turned out to contain pizza after all (a miniature one) and we each got to have a slice. We hung out for a while, again parked on the sidewalk with music blaring and doors ajar, drinking our beers....until someone determined it was time to go.

Next stop....back to the fast food restaurant. Apparently I had heard Gil correctly when he said we were going to eat chicken – they had just been placing the order. Now we were going back to eat....an entire chicken, plus french fries (moz style....extra soggy and extra oily) on the sidewalk next to the car, doors ajar and music blaring. And somehow during the course of our meal it was decided that we should stop by Africa Bar on the way to the jazz bar....just for a few minutes. And before we went, we had to replenish our stock of beers (Tio pointed out that there were only three beers remaining, and even though we had all just agreed that our next stop was a bar, it was decided that we still needed more). Now clearly, Africa Bar is not the jazz bar....but I had heard a lot about it, I had never been, and they are supposed to have good live music on Thursdays (plus why interrupt my go-with-the-flow approach to the evening)....so I agreed that we should definitely stop by.

With the beer stock replenished and the chicken gone, we headed to Africa Bar. We went in, ordered some drinks from the bar, and just hung out while waiting for the band to start. The band was awesome – they were from the Congo, and had come complete with their own dancer. She was wearing a mesh (and therefore see through) halter style bikini top, black vinyl skirt and black boots. And although at first I found it a little difficult to concentrate on her dancing....she was actually an amazing dancer. Plus, the band seemed to have four singers, two of which only sang back up here and there, who all danced (alongside their leading lady) the entire time. It was fantastic.

Needless to say we never made it to the jazz bar. We finally got out of Africa Bar around one in the morning....and the boys got me home safe and sound.